Some of you who have been following my blog may remember our
most sorrowful loss of my oldest daughter's best friend, Alexa to suicide three years ago. Alexa was only 14 years old and just about to enter high school. She was caring for our animals the week before she died while we were on vacation and we returned the night before she took her own life. On our kitchen table, she left sweet notes that were full of joyful comments, smiley faces and doodles... she also left a book there that Dee let her borrow. We never could have imagined that those simple gestures were her way of saying goodbye to us.
The pain of losing anyone you love is often too much to bear but when you lose someone to suicide, it is even more difficult because there is such a stigma attached to the word.
In our desperate attempt to cope and help Alexa's family, Dee and I
organized our first community walk to remember her life through 'Out of the Darkness' run by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. Looking back, I'm not sure any of us knew if we'd ever walk again... or breathe again for that matter. But we had to do something.
So when the second year came upon us... we
walked again.
Three years later, we once again met to honor Alexa's life yesterday. This time, the walk moved to our home town in Brookfield - sadly, because another young man committed suicide here 14 months ago and his family decided to organize the walk in our town.
This year Alexa would have been a senior. She would have been looking at colleges and planning her future just like my daughter is doing. Her mother and father would have been preparing to send her out into the world to begin her own life. I can hardly stand up when I think of this. The pain is so intense just for me, a friend... I cannot imagine if it were my own child.
It is three years later and we are still here - still standing... walking... living... grieving and remembering. We are determined to do whatever we can to prevent another child from experiencing the pain and loneliness that Alexa felt those last days of her life. If she only knew how much she was loved.
(Alexa's mom, Dee and I)
Our lives will never be the same again. We have become very close with Alexa's mom and dad and although we wish it was for different reasons, we are here to lift each other up and do some good in this world... to make a difference.
Diondra is thinking about going into psychology to one day help girls like Alexa. I hug my children a little bit tighter and thank God for each moment I have with them each day. Alexa's parents were a big part of an anti-bullying law that was put into effect in Connecticut and are a part of an organization in our town to help those suffering from depression and mental illness.
While we wish she was still here.... there is no doubt that her life brought us goodness.
And for that we are thankful.
Our second day of school in the woods was wonderful. We spent our morning exploring the sense of touch.
Miss Jen brought out such beautiful samples of nature that we felt with our hands. We asked each child to use describing words and they came up with 'bumpy', 'smooth', 'prickly', 'pointy' and 'soft'.
Then we shared our Mystery Box which was filled with items found in nature. The children each took turns putting their hands in the box and guessing what they felt.
When we went for our hike, we tried to find the same items that we felt in our Mystery Box.
It was very damp from a lot of rain and the bugs were pretty relentless. The children hardly complain though - its quite amazing.
We also looked for beautiful leaves for our project later in the day...
We found sweet worms wiggling under the rocks... Lilah was not one bit afraid and picked them up gently right away. We talked about how worms cannot see or hear but use their sense of touch to know where they are going.
When we returned from our hike to the picnic tables, Miss Jen led our craft activity of making homemade Leaf Presses. 
The children used beeswax crayons and leaf stamps to decorate their press.
Then they layered paper and the beautiful leaves they found on their walk on top of each other.
We sealed each press closed with rubber bands and our leaves will sit in our presses until we are ready to use them for craft projects in a few weeks.
This day, I brought along a few wooden toys for the children to play with on our picnic blanket. 
We also read beautiful stories - one of them was especially sweet and included different textures for the children to feel as they explored.
We look forward to seeing the children again next week.
