First Day of School

First I want to apologize for neglecting my blog lately... life has been so busy these last few weeks of summer. I have been preparing the girls for school... opened up my daycare four full days with an assistant AND began working on an amazing project with an amazing teacher but it's been hard to pull it off in time... so everything else has been placed on the back burner. Until we get into the swing of things, I may not be doing my weekly challenges and posting as often but please check back because I will be making announcements soon on what we've been working on and posting blog updates when I can squeeze it in.

After much debate, worry and going back and forth.. we decided to give public school a try for this year. Everyone was REALLY excited and the first day of school was yesterday.

Dee has always been in public school and has done amazing. Her morning starts so super early though - the poor girl has to get up at 5 a.m. Luckily she is home early as well but often studying and field hockey take up most of her afternoon and evening time. She is a peer counselor which means that she is part of a group of kids who were selected to represent the school and help the new students starting the high school. I am so proud of her for all she does. (I wish she would let me post more photos of her... I promise it is not for lack of trying!)

Maia surprised me with her enthusiasm. She was the one I was most concerned about because last year she had been so shy and would often get very worried or cry at school. Well... THIS year she must have been ready. She was SO excited to go on the bus to her new school. I was so happy to see her excitement.


Keira has been in this school before two years back so she knew what to expect. She was able to see a few old friends on the bus ride there and this year the busing system was set up so the girls' buses were right behind each other in the morning. It was nice not having to wait for a second bus.
Brianna loves waiting with me to send the girls off to school. We also have a daycare child who has been coming early so we meet her on the front porch and the kids enjoy a good 20 minutes of free play outdoors in the morning. When possible, I try to get my own girls outside a little early in the morning because I know their outdoor time is limited on school days.

They decided to pick a flower from our garden for their new teachers.

Played a marching game and burned some energy...

And off they went!

Bittersweet. I'm so excited for them and hopeful for a wonderful year full of adventures and new friends. Sad because I do miss them so much while they are at school but it allows for me to focus on working and taking care of our home.

When they returned home, they were full of exciting stories to share. Luckily they didn't have homework - so again after a warm snack, we went outside for an hour to reconnect. The daycare children love it when the school bus arrives home and there is always a full house for my girls to play with when they get back.

I hope everyone else had a good start to the new school year.

xoxox

((this moment))

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Camp Banquet

The girls finished up another awesome summer of camp at the Lake Club. Brianna started for a week but then missed home too much so she decided to stay home with Mommy one more summer instead. It was actually very funny... I said to her "mommy is just doing boring things at home, Bree" and she goes "I want to be boring with you, Mommy." So cute!


Maia on the other hand loved it this year... she really picked up her swimming and had a lot of fun at the beach and doing all of the activities.
She made some sweet friends and it seems like she became a lot more comfortable in her own body these last few weeks... We went on a field trip to the Dinosaur Museum and did so many crafts.

Keira has been a camp pro for a few years now. Her group this year only had one boy in it! What a lucky guy! We went to Lake Compounce on a field trip and made so many different types of friendship bracelets we lost track!

Each year at the end of camp they hold a banquet for the children... the kids go early and enjoy a formal event with dinner and dessert. Then family comes to watch the award ceremony. The counselors think up each award based on the child's personality, strengths and temperament.


This year, just like every year ... Keira received an award for extreme kindness and her talents in arts & crafts :)

And Maia *ALSO* received the Arts & Crafts award! It must be all of our waldorf crafting activities at home rubbing off on them :)~

At the end of the evening, the children bring the boat they made at camp down to the lake - add a candle - make a special wish and send it off into the night.

It's such a special way to symbolize the end of their summer journey in a positive way.

Off went so many fresh, beautiful, pure wishes... into the night...

It leaves me with a lot of hope and faith in our future generation.

((Truthful Tuesday))

My Tuesday confession is that I have reached an all-time low of patience these last few days. To those of you homeschoolers out there, I truly admire you. Especially today. I, too, love my children and cherish my moments with them - I work hard to create beautiful moments and share in their learning and life as much as possible... but the truth of the matter is that there are SO many moments and I ... I miss myself. I miss the silence I once knew. And, I need it back again.

I wouldn't trade the time I have with my girls for anything in the world... but I really need some time for me. Some time to sit and write my books without feeling guilty... time to clean the house without breaking up arguments... time to shower or go to the bathroom for more than 2 minutes before someone needs me for something again... even the ability to drive to a store without songs being sung in the backseat over and over and over and over again. Time.

Time to create... to paint, scrapbook, sew... heck, even time to work. Time to sleep. My sleep is almost always interrupted by someone having a bad dream, wanting to sleep in our bed or not feeling well. More than just one moment to think of an idea... to imagine... to remember.

And I'm not wishing our time together away at all. I know it is brief... I know one day I will wish these moments back. And, again, I feel guilty.

I always feel this pull... pull to be a wonderful mother but to fill myself up with what I need. There is never enough time ... for me. I put myself last... and I do so willingly, and with acceptance... usually.. but lately... this week... I do it poorly... with resentment, with loud words... short tempered and then quickly with guilt, remorse and regret. Trying to find out what God wants from me and what I want for myself. There is so much to be done. But I can't do it all.

I yell at my children sometimes... I hate that. I try not to... I write to help others remain centered and grounded in their work with children. But, I cannot always do it myself. Am I a hypocrite? I think I'm just human. I often laugh that I write the guides for me... I need the reminders too. I need to stop - start over and try again... a lot.

This week is one of those times. I've had to walk away too many times from my girls - apologize for snapping over silly things like dirty dishes or messy rooms. I've had to completely stop my body, my mind... and just lay still letting go of the hope to find time to write a bit or get some work done. And it feels bad.

And, I hate to admit it - but I think the girls and I are all longing for school days.... just so we have some time to go out into the world, or into ourselves - alone - for awhile... and then be able to return home and share it all with each other... fresh, renewed and in the right space.

I wonder if my girls will remember my good days more than my bad ones. Probably not... but hopefully when they have their own families they will understand.

Looking forward to tomorrow.

xoxo

((this moment)) : happy 2nd birthday, tyler!!!

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

((Truthful Tuesday))

The truth of the matter is I'm not sure which way to go. I have this wonderful childcare business and the opportunity to spend my time with so many sweet children and play, craft and sing all day.... I also have been so lucky with writing and selling my childcare guides. Both need attention if they are to grow and thrive.

The problem is that there is not enough of me to tend to each business the way I want. I've put my guides on hold for awhile now and have been so happy to see they are still selling each month. But, I miss writing them and I have so many new ideas I'd love to share... just not enough time.

Yet, there is such a need for holistic, nurturing and play-based childcare... and I love the children I care for. I was hoping to try to find a balance point... to work a few days per week on each, but so many working parents really want more days.. and I have a wonderful assistant to help me if I expand my days. But, if I do - the writing will stay on hold even longer... and never mind keeping up with the house - ugh!

What to do... I am being pulled in two directions and have to choose the right way to go - I've been struggling with this for some time. Truthfully, I'm just not sure.

xoxo

((this moment))

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Maia's 6th Birthday!!

Our little Maia has turned six years old. Maia-Apple-Pie-A.... Our "pickle". When I asked her what she wanted for her birthday she told me a "Barbie House"... Oh Boy. For those of you who know me... not EXACTLY my style to say the least. I was so lucky to come across this alternative dollhouse. It will fit all sorts of dolls (even the stray Barbie) and at least has a little class and is made out of wood. She really loves it.

It just so happens her top tooth got VERY loose on the same day as her party. You can see in the photos that it is hanging on by a thread and she won't let us touch it. :) I guess it will be there for awhile longer until she is ready to let it go.

To celebrate Maia's birthday we decided to have a pool party for her and also for her cousin Colin who is turning 3 years old. One of my daycare moms creates beautiful cakes on the side and she did this awesome pool party cake for the kids.

They loved it!

We had perfect weather and spent it with good friends and family. Dee invited her best friend over to hang out. I'm so happy she found someone special to connect with... the girls are so close and it just means so much that she has such sweet, kind friends in her life.

Maia wanted to make sure she got the piece with her girl on it... and Colin got the boy piece.

YUM!

I was so busy running around I didn't feel like I really had a chance to sit and enjoy everyone. That's the one thing about hosting a big party - its so much fun but its hard to really enjoy all of the company while preparing, setting up and serving.

Grandma Nohe is my husband's grandmother and she is 98 years old!!! She's still sharp as a tack and going strong. It is just so amazing what a full, long and wonderful life she has had. She was born the same year as my grandma who passed away in 1995... I was so very close with her and I find myself connecting with Grandma Nohe just like she is my own. I wish she was here to see the birth of all of my children and spend time at my home celebrating their special days with us too.

We never have a family party without a pinata... its our little tradition and the kids really look forward to it.

Bree

Maia..

and Keira...
Giving it all they've got.

Happy Birthday Sweet Maia!! We love you so very much.

((Truthful Tuesday))

A little late in the day but here at last!

The truth I'm sharing today is how much I worry for my children. It consumes me. In particular, this plays out quite a bit in my decision making with their education. The fact that I am unable to offer them a Waldorf education outside of home saddens me. But, even more so, I am sad that they must go into the world and deal with so many of the same things I had to deal with... that I can't keep them safe all of the time.

My fears of how they will cope with peer pressure, potential social issues and decision-making as they go through school and life scares me. I've seen my amazing teenager work through it all... its hasn't been easy... she's excelled academically and her grades are phenomenal... she's made wonderful friends - and she has lost a friend which shattered us all to our core... she continues to navigate through this world and all that comes with it and it's hard. And all I can do is hope - pray - that she takes with her all that I've tried to teach... that she won't make the same mistakes that I did... that somehow she will be spared pain, heartache, difficult decisions and wrong turns.

But the truth is, I cannot protect her from all of those things. I cannot protect any of my children from life or the way our world is either. As a matter of fact, maybe my job must be to prepare them to be able to live in this world - hopefully change it - rather than protect them from it all.

This fear and desire to protect my children keeps me up at night. I toss and I turn and I analyze each choice I make and each potential path we can take to get us all out at the end...safely ...together. I stress out about the school they should attend... or if they should attend school at all. We've gone from public school to private and now likely back to public school and 'Waldorf Afterschooling' - all the while with me wondering what on earth is the best path to take.

This sickness of mine has consumed me.... if I was given only one thing that I could choose to do right during my time here on earth - I would choose to be a good mother - to give my girls all that they need to live a full, beautiful and long life. If I could spare them heartache, mistakes, pain and suffering - I would give anything. But, I can't. And it makes me sad... and afraid.

But, I want my daughters to see the beauty of life... the magic... the good. So, I must model the behavior myself. Because even if my children do not see my worry - I know they feel it.

So I have made myself a promise this week as school approaches. A promise to let go... to let God. Leaving fear behind us all. I am choosing to ride the waves with my girls... the ups, the downs and the in-betweens. We will turn back when we get it wrong and move forward when it feels right. And when we fall, I know we will all be there to help each other back up again.

And THAT is something to be very hopeful of.

xoxo
Eileen