Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Ten Years to Puerto Rico

My wonderful, hard working husband insisted that we do something very special to celebrate ten years of marriage together this year.
We looked at various climates and opportunities and finally decided on Puerto Rico.
Ten years of marriage is such an accomplishment. It hasn't always been easy but its always been full of life, love and commitment.
When we met, we were both in our mid-twenties and becoming a 'couple' and establishing ourselves in our marriage took time and hard work.
A lot of time. And even more work. And we are still figuring it out. Working it each day.
The one thing that holds us throughout it all - is a burning, passionate love for one another. That passion can be our best friend and our worst enemy. It can be the thing that draws us close - and also the thing that pulls us apart.... but it is always there - this intense, magical and invisible cord of burning love, holding us together...
I remember as a little girl imagining who my love would be. I painted a picture of what our life would look like and I so looked forward to the day that I would find *this* other part of myself - the half to make me whole - the person who I could build dreams with and create a family with.
And I found him. Out of all the dreams I ever had, my biggest was to find a good man with whom I could create a family with. I am so blessed to have found him.
But what I also found out along the way is that we are both already whole. We all are. Each one of us. And our relationship together is just an added bonus to an already perfect creation.
Searching for someone to make you 'whole' is setting yourself up for disappointment. It can create unrealistic expectations of your partner. A trap that I still can find myself falling into on occasion.
What I know now is that love is something that must stand alone without expectation. You love someone for everything they are - not just who you want them to be.
Because if you don't, then it is not really love in the first place. It is an image that you have created - an expectation of what it should be.
And life is too real for false images. Love must stand alone without strings.
And I am so thankful that I have been able to travel this journey with my husband, finding myself through the process...
Growing and loving myself enough to know that I can love him unselfishly and unconditionally... without expectation ... just because I do.

Forgiving.
Reevaluating.
Dreaming.
Learning.
Traveling.
Changing our view and perspective when necessary.
I'm grateful for the colors of our life together. The burning bright moments.
And the ordinary and silent ones.

I'm grateful for the vibrant and intense moments - both good and bad.
Because it is within those moments that we have grown to learn to seek the quiet and steady again. But always together.

I'm grateful for the nights on the town we've shared.
And the nights we've stayed in.
Sharing each changing season and finding our way....
Screwing up...

And getting it right.
Living in our moments and letting them be what they are...

Letting go and having faith
learning that the most wonderful part of being together - has been learning how to stand on our own.

4 comments:

Redbeet Mama said...

Tearing up here. What a beautiful post - filled with amazing wisdom.

You both look so happy.

Happy Tenth Anniversary!

Nicole

Redbeet Mama said...

and the photos are amazing. I love how you tied them all together with your story.

XO

My Ugly Garden said...

Congratulations on a decade together. What a magical place to celebrate your anniversary.

Michele de Jesus said...

Oh, Old San Juan Puerto Rico! Love it! I'm actually Puerto Rican and was there last year visiting family and enjoying the island for Christmas care of my mother's frequent flyer miles (how we manage to go from the west coast since she travels for a living). I always associate it with Christmas but am not going this year so am nostalgic. Congratulations on 10 yrs of marriage! Beautiful post.

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